Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Would you care to dance?” he blurted. “Now?” She smiled adorably. “Is there music?” There wasn’t. It was some testament to how foolish in love he’d become that he did not even feel embarrassed.

It was one of those rare occasions when the true story is even more strange and exciting than the wild rumours.

I was fortunate enough to model, but it was always work for me. It was a way to support myself and finance acting classes.

I think the country's getting disgusted with Washington partly because of the decline of civility in government.

You feel vulnerable when you hear things that are not being said

My first favorite band that made music important to me was the Beatles. I was a little kid. I didn't know who was singing what song or who wrote what song.

I grew up in Orange County, California, all over the beaches of San Clemente and that area.

Zeal is not of necessity religion, neither is it always of the same essence with poetry or patriotism.

There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Anyone can be rich in promises.