Irreverence is easy - whats hard is wit.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

Through the window of my soul and the mirror of my mind, I was looking for the beauty of my life. I could not find it, but I found it in the glint of a dew drop at the edge of a dancing leaf.

Marriage is like a fingerprint. Everyone's is different.

A quart bottle should hold a quart.

I am a Buddhist, therefore I should not be collecting anything - however, I have a collection of Buddhas. I have a lot of them.

I am only one, But still I am one.

Theology is the post hoc rationalization of what you want to believe.

I think being vulnerable paves the way for humility.

I'll forget about you long enough to forget why I need to

Our problem as leaders is we do everything we know to do. That's not enough. We need to do everything God wants us to do.

I'm one of the people who believe the great lines come from either Western or bluegrass music.