Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?' Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Christ Jesus is the power of God.

The clubs are good fun-having a laugh, really having a good time.

It's safe to talk openly and honestly with people because they're not really listening.

If you don't take your clothes seriously, why should your viewers take you seriously?

Ah, gratitude, that's a terrible thing, a dangerous thing.

I try to work with God as a partner.

I don't have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.

Keep a gratitude journal. Write down at least three things a day you are either thankful for, made you smile or genuinely inspired you.

I think a painting is more like the real world if it's made out the real world.

Men who like women rarely fall in love.