In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Truly worthy are those who become brighter as the days get cloudier so that their light shines through, regardless of how hard the clouds are working to block their radiance.

Are you doing life or are you living?

The process of fostering the growth of another living being—either plant or human—is a delight for the soul.

Love doesn’t mean a commitment all the time, spread love for progress.

Truth is so rare. I wonder why it is and where you are?

People say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. It's not. It's eye bloody spy.

A good drawing has immense vitality because it is explanatory. In a good drawing even its faults have become virtues.

Repose demands for its expression the implied capability of its opposite,--energy.

The first point of wisdom is to. discern what is false; the second, to know what is true.

I know what kind of pitcher Whitey was, and I know what kind of person Whitey is. It makes me feel proud to be a Yankee. We're keeping this in the family.