A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.'

In a company of children and grown-ups, the latter are those who should demonstrate good manners and always let the children speak first.

...You bring out the truth in me, Callista, and make me whole. I need you to set me free and give me the courage to be as strong as you are. I love you...

Small budgets require brave ideas.

You are not the car you drive.

I'm always on duty, so I tend to wear suits. I've got double-breasted and single-breasted, mostly dark blues and grays. I'm obsessed with them, and I always have been.

There is no doubt that it is more difficult to read and more difficult to write but I still manage.

The natural resources we've depended on, if the places where they exist are not stable, our own livelihood and our health is put at risk.

Even if you actually have the good intent to do something creative or special with your life, it's hard. I mean, look at the number of people who actually get the opportunity.

Some of the priests from the Seminary were in the nunnery every day and night, and often several at a time.

I'm not a snob. Ask anybody-well, anybody who matters.