In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

Any book that spreads weakness in the heart of one gender, and authoritarianism in the other, must be burnt to ashes.

To care for others is called humanity.

One does not have to prove a negative. One should assume a negative.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

This is the strangest life I've ever known.

I was in that generation where I was torn if you should put it on the web because you're giving it away for free but you also want people to see your work.

I want to be a champion.

Sometimes music, movies and books are the only things that let us feel like someone else feels like we do.

I'm sitting in a cage with my eye upon the clock.

I have a lot of stuff that I never published because I always had a sense that novels were not finally going to be the way I made my living, because the form was dying commercially.