An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

When everything is said and done, the only thing that really matters is the quality of the soul you build during the life you're given.

Never grow a wishbone daughter where your backbone ought to be.

The adornment of the body is a human need.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

Never forget which way you face

The greats weren't great because at birth they could paint The greats were great because they paint a lot

Don't be afraid to be different.

You are the expert on you.

I'm very proud to be British, and my brand is British.

I have the picture in my mind of how emotional I will feel if I win again.