In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?

some people fall in love over and over again while some people can only do it once.

Your little r changes the status of a single lady ‘Ms’ into a respectable lady ‘Mrs’. Man, you make the difference!

I wouldn’t change a thing. I want you. I’ll always want you.

By nature servile, people attempt at first glance to find signs of good breeding in the appearance of those who occupy more exalted stations.

It is a novel kind of supremacy, the best that life can offer, to have as servants by skill those who by nature are our masters.

The United Nations cannot stand by and witness the destruction of the people of West Papua.

When we have passed the tests we are sent to Earth to learn, we are allowed to graduate. We are allowed to shed our body, which imprisons our souls.

I'm actually very scared of sharks. I wanted to be a marine biologist when I was young, which may not have been compatible with that fear.

Are decent people in positions of leadership eternally condemned to Calvary?

Live, laugh, love, every day to it's fullest, for who knows, tomorrow, may not be.