If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

I'm psychologically equipped for this.

We are not judges for ourselves until circumstances call us to act.

Boring is a syndrome of being to simple.

The less men think the more they talk.

I think the choice of actors that we have is a little more varied and rich here in New York than in L.A.

Only someone who already knows and likes you is likely to give you a good job with modest relevant experience.

Ignorance is not bliss — it is oblivion. Determined ignorance is the hastiest kind of oblivion.

When the mind grasps the universe, the senses retreat.

Leaders must attend to one key growth question: How authentically am I showing up in the world and my organization?

There is a phenomenal amount of pressure on women in this industry: they are considered vintage by the time they hit their mid-30s.