If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

I could stand alone because I knew I was not alone.

it does seemthe more we drinkthe better the wordsgo.

Every face of life demands endurance.

When I was a senior, I ran for class president. And I lost. One of my opponents even told me I was "really stupid" if I thought a girl could be elected president.

To be a god First I must be a god-maker: We are what we create.

One may detest the wickedness of a brother without hating him.

There is an eternal love between the water drop and the leaf. When you look at them, you can see that they both shine out of happiness.

Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty.

It's not that perfection cannot be achieved. It's that it's so hard to stop there.

Oneness of the Divine. It may be given a thousand names such as The Primary Cause / God / Energy / I. All that is created has its Self this Oneness.