If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Poverty deprives humanity of the basic necessities to live a meaningful life.

A hopeless man is a very desperate and dangerous man, almost a dead man.

There’s a dignity in consequences.

When we realise our oneness with our RULER, then the matter shall have no longer power over us, and we shall see it as the unreality it is.

I am the epitome of what you dream to be and the reality of what you can't be.

Campion is a poet who knows that what a poet sees is nothing without a mixture of formal prowess and emotional insight.

The Ill-directed mind can do to you even worse

Experiment is the sole source of truth. It alone can teach us something new; it alone can give us certainty.

I am not a rock star or a movie star; I'm a businessperson. I definitely know who my friends are. I'm much more open and trusting than, say, my daughter is.

You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought