If the victories we create in our heads were let loose on reality, the world we know would drown in blazing happiness.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

Become 'tested' in such a way that not a single word in this world can shake you up.

Wisdom is merely the movement from fighting life to embracing it.

When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don't eat so much that you get stuck in the doorway trying to get out.

You can do something that walks a line, and invariably, whatever that line is, it will be crossed by people who don't know any better and want to ape the success.

For sov'reign pow'r reign not alone, Grace is the partner of the throne; Thy grace and justice mighty Lord, Shall well divide our last reward.

Color is the thing I'm best known for. If people pigeonhole me, so what? Long live the pink dress!

Who knows but that you will get up to find that the world has inverted itself yet again?

It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.

Live each moment from your own inspiration, not from your desire to look good in the eyes of others.

It was a cold day but the sun was out and the trees were like great bonfires against gray distant fields and hills.