INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Fear, when blended with failure, distills into a deadly brew.

Life is more Easy with a Little Hope and Big Dreams.

You always feel when you look it straight in the eye that you could have put more into it could have let yourself go and dug harder.

There are no short cuts to Heaven only the ordinary way of ordinary things.

There's nothing revolutionary about Saturday Night Fever . You can see the same kind of movement at your local disco.

I love Opening Ceremony, Kenzo - anything Humberto Leon and Carol Lim touch. I drool over Christopher Kane, Mary Katrantzou, Delpozo, and Wes Gordon.

Look, people get drunk ... People chase girls. And the point is, it's a hell of a lot better for them to get drunk than to take drugs. It's better to chase girls than boys.

Heroic deeds, to use whatever dower Heaven has bestowed, to test our utmost power.

It is not virtuous in any way to put yourself down, or to punish yourself, because you do not feel you have lived up to your best behavior at any given time.

We fell morally ill because we became used to saying something different from what we thought.