I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore.

If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful.

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

I don't drink anymore... I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle.

It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.

Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key.

Love one another gently.

She dances in a ring of fire and throws off the challenge with a shrug.

It's not how many people you reach -- It's how many people you inspire.

Try to make things that can become better in other people’s minds than they were in yours.

The guilt of newborns is immense.

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

It is trust, more than money, that makes the world go round.

I have never been in favour of expelling people from the Labour Party.

The thing I miss the most about Scotland is the football.

When Im writing, I spend all my time in The Grocer on Elgin buying ready-made meals; I think they are the only reason my husband and kids havent left me.