I was married once before, and I stopped.

It seems people are more willing to let other people control their minds now and recreational drug use doesn't seem to have that same renegade sense of adventure that it once did.

I'm not for everyone. I'm barely for me.

Maybe depression is the most reasonable response to all the crap around us. Maybe it's the happy people who need medication.

That’s the big challenge of life—to chisel disappointment into wisdom so people respect you and you don’t annoy your friends with your whining.

Buying my wife a gun sort of like me saying, ' You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise'.

You can't avoid pain in life. It's how you handle pain, that's what defines you.

In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.

Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'

We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.

Faith in the face of disappointment is only enhanced by laughter in the face of pain.

Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

ANYTHING IN THIS UNIVERSE CAN BE A STORY WORTH TELLING, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW HOW TO BEST TELL IT.

A reform is a correction of abuses a revolution is a transfer of power.

I've always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.

... why are so many religious people arguing about the origin of the species but so few concerned about the extinction of the species?

Corruption of morals is rapid enough in any country without a bounty from government. And...the Chief Magistrate of the United States should be the last man to accelerate its progress.

Dreams are all I have ever truly owned.

Unmediated joy was nowadays unfashionable.

Equities are boring; bonds are disgusting.