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Amy Schumer Quotes: I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.
         

I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.


Amy Schumer
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Other quotes of Amy Schumer


We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.



You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.



I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.



I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.



Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'



Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.



Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.



I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.



I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.



I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'





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Quote Description


This page presents the quote "I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.". Author of this quote is Amy Schumer. This quote is about hey, reality, two, crazy, reality shows, cruise, guy, thinking,.