I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet.

The way to be invisible - is to truly be imaginary. But since you cannot imagine yourself, you have to clone your imagination into being an image of yourself. Imagine that.

The NSA may, or may not have rejected the invisible secret operative application form I never even bothered to have sent over to them. I'll never know...

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

The only way to efficiently battle evil is to copy enough to know how to counter each argument, yet not enough to believe all the bullshit.

I think she's too single for me, and she thinks I'm with two other people. She also thinks she thinks, I think.

Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Silence is the invisibility of talking. I'd take half an argument over half a silence any day. And I'd take peace and quiet over a full-blown argument any other day, unless it's Tuesday.

When Jarod Kintz gets married, I want to wear his grandpa to the ceremony, telling everyone we're Siamese twins from the future-past. Meow.

To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night...

Move not unless you see an advantage

Never embarrass a student in front of others. Embarrass yourself often to relieve the tension, but do not paint them into a corner.

And the bell jangled, the driver started. The bus whirled off, to the last stop, the lonely room, the lonely night.

...if we are to become a land of homes and people, evil men must not be allowed to persist in their evil.

The spirit of gratitude is definitely one of the main keys to happiness and constant growth. Every blessing needs to be celebrated and transformed into a motivation for more blessings.

Only cowards insult dying majesty.

Metaphysics is a dark ocean without shores or lighthouse, strewn with many a philosophic wreck.

Satire that the censor understands is rightly censored.

I have been aspiring to write some sort of literature for a long time.

There is no decision that we can make that doesn't come with some sort of balance or sacrifice.