I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win."

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

I wanted to get a tape recorder, but I got a parrot instead. I think I did that joke backwards.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

Spaghetti... I can't eat spaghetti, there's too many of them. No matter how hungry I am, 1,000 of something is too many. I'll have 1,000 pieces of noodles.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.

I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I’m extremely optimistic about rapid transformation and change of things in Africa in general.

Mind is a captive of the body.

I had to be honest with myself and that I felt hatred then, but as children say "I hate you", it's not really hate, you know, it's anger.

According to some liberation theologians atheism is not the cause of the conflict between Christianity and Marxism, but is rather the link between them.

Sometimes you can't be what you ought to be, you can't have what you ought to have.

My primary goal of hacking was the intellectual curiosity, the seduction of adventure.

Will Great Britain have an unwilling India dragged into war or a willing ally co-operating with her in the prosecution of a defence of true democracy?

Today we can be sure we are heading into the right direction. We managed to put the round back on track, after a long hibernation. But we are not there yet.

The traditional view of the sanctity of human life will collapse under pressure from scientific, technological and demographic developments.

Thank you for bringing me home.