I think you can make good things happen if you look for them. Life is a very positive thing.

Many comedians - both male and female - do have an "I will never date another comedian" rule.

The best advice I've gotten in terms of that was someone who said, "People will surprise you if you let them."

I'm just trying to do my part before I get hit by a bus.

Outside of performing, (a comedian) is someone who is analyzing life, thinking about it and trying to be observing so much. In my opinion, it can make you feel on the outside looking in.

The whole romanticized sad clown thing, we have to get rid of that. That has to go. That's just getting sick people to voluntarily stay sicker and sadder than they have to be.

If people tell me something is impossible, I just want to prove that. I want to know that that's for certain. I don't want to not do something because someone says I can't.

Mania is fun. I won't lie, it's fun. But it's usually followed by a soul-crushing depression.

I just like testing myself. I just have that thing in me. Whatever it is that people tell me I can't do, I've gotta try it.

Suicide - when I think of it, to me it means someone had a lot of problems and they couldn't fight through them anymore. That's not cowardly. It's sad and nothing but.

If you are a New York comedian who knows how to improvise and has glasses, you're going to start getting commercials.

The only way you would have failed, " she said, "is if you had.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face—for ever.

The sun was good. The men of the llano were men of the sun. The men of the farms along the river were men of the moon. But we were all children of the white sun.

Your purpose explains what you are doing with your life. Your vision explains how you are living your purpose. Your goals enable you to realize your vision.

If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!

Take those kids and raise them up, teach them how to drink out of a righteous cup.

Men of all lands and climes are brothers.

Just so you know, we're on the good side with y'all. We do not want this war, this violence. And we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.

Not everyone has a purpose.

I do think it's probably true to a certain extent that you tend to sing music that fits your voice. If you're Lou Reed, you're unlikely to become a country singer.