I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?" me?

Roaring is never a voice for indoors. Roaring sounds better when done outdoors!

They were the kind of words you read back and every lettered limb surprises you because you never knew you really felt those things the whole time.

That which is painful sharpens one's love.

The compulsion to take ourselves seriously is in inverse proportion to our creative capacity. When the creative flow dries up, all we have left is our importance.

While flying with several other USAF pilots over Germany in 1957, we sighted numerous radiant flying discs above us. We couldn't tell how high they were. We couldn't get anywhere near their altitude.

The heart may be broken, and the soul remain unshaken.

I'm such a control freak, and it's very hard for me to lose my inhibitions without something chemical inside me.

There are days when I'm alone with my thoughts, which is to say, not alone enough.

No matter how much bullying they inflict on my body, as long as I have this hope, I can endure any pain.