I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

I’ve never seen a man who understands so little about women and yet is so led about by them.

--And the good thing about feeling happy, you know, Valentin? ...It's that you think it's forever, that one's never ever going to feel unhappy again.

Don't be afraid to challenge the pros, even in their own backyard.

He that preacheth giveth almes.

Look about you. Take hold of the things that are here. Let them talk to you. You learn to talk to them.

If a man, for private profit, tears at the public news, does so with the impatience of one who thinks he actually owns the news you get, it is against the national interest.

Labels are distancing phenomena. They push us away from each other.

A man has no enemy worse than himself.

He who does not mortify his palate will neither know how to mortify his flesh.