I mean, I'll say the filthiest things in the world, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a prude.

Tell me what you want, and then I'll put in what I want... after I'm done with my codependent providing for you, I'll get a little for me too.

I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them.

Well, I refer to Celebrity Jeopardy as the short-bus Jeopardy, because it is a lot easier. Like, there was a whole column basically naming stores in New York.

One of the big tensions in my life is that I have known the stresses of financial hardship since I was a little kid, and it is the cancer for which I am seeking a cure.

I think the people that are best at something, they don't think about it much. That's the whole key to being good at anything.

Aside from accidentally by my kids, like wrestling around with my kids, no one has ever punched me in the face.

I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess.

I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot.

No, I don't know any Emily Dickinson poems!

Anything that I read, I read because I'm interested in it.

Fiction is art and art is the triumph over chaos… to celebrate a world that lies spread out around us like a bewildering and stupendous dream.

If what you sell doesn’t help me then why are you knocking on my door?

Well, if you ask any filmmaker how they got into it, everyone came a different route. Ive never actually watched another director work.

It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.

As a journalist, your job is to bear witness.

The Beatles will exist without us.

I mean people have compared us to like the Grateful Dead and all these like psychedelic sixties bands.

I tried to get into comics initially after I graduated Clemson in 1994. I spent a year trying to get in, and I quit reading books because not getting in made me sad.

I am here and you will know that I am the best and will hear me. The color of my skin or the kink of my hair or the spread of my mouth has nothing to do with what you are listening to.

There's this absurd situation on a movie set where your trailer's here and the set is here and the lunch tent is here, and you're not allowed to get yourself from these three places.