Anything that I read, I read because I'm interested in it.

Tell me what you want, and then I'll put in what I want... after I'm done with my codependent providing for you, I'll get a little for me too.

I watch mediocre shows that have been on for three or four seasons, and feel angry at them.

Well, I refer to Celebrity Jeopardy as the short-bus Jeopardy, because it is a lot easier. Like, there was a whole column basically naming stores in New York.

One of the big tensions in my life is that I have known the stresses of financial hardship since I was a little kid, and it is the cancer for which I am seeking a cure.

I mean, I'll say the filthiest things in the world, but when it comes down to it, I'm kind of a prude.

I think the people that are best at something, they don't think about it much. That's the whole key to being good at anything.

Aside from accidentally by my kids, like wrestling around with my kids, no one has ever punched me in the face.

I've always tried to be nice to people, so that sort of translates into popularity, I guess.

I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot.

No, I don't know any Emily Dickinson poems!

If you're to explain your works, then surely you have chosen wrong audience!

Men so often became stubborn when they didn't get their way with the ladies in their lives.

Let go of what you can no longer keep. Protect what's still worth keeping. Believe in love most of all.

I wonder if it's possible to start a new relationship without hurting someone else.

War is the admission of defeat in the face of conflicting interests.

Faith furnishes prayer with wings, without which it cannot soar to Heaven.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

I will practice coming back to the present moment...not letting regrets and sorrow drag me back into the past or letting anxieties, fears, or cravings pull me out.

Life offers its wisdom generously. Everything teaches. Not everyone learns.