I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

The world will never know you because you have not become a slave of your gift

There is more experience on the field of justification than on the camp of training. Sometimes, you got to take actions to learn more.

To be a successful general one must be prayful, faithful and work hard

I know you do not think very highly of me, but in some circles, I'm quite the thing.

Our humanity were a poor thing but for the divinity that stirs within us.

All of the factors that make up a quality city - safe streets, high paying jobs, strong neighborhoods, etc. - emanate from a strong educational premise.

It's hard to send your baby off on a plane without you, though that's less reasonable, because sending him off in a car is statistically a bigger risk.

Flying was as necessary to my business as fiddles and footlights.

I want to be the first player to show what Japanese batters can do in the major league.

Life is too short to leave your walls bare or colorless. Unless you like bare and colorless then it is fine.