I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.

We had so much fun in Ghana and they are really lovely people.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

We only have one agenda, which is to make 'em laugh their pants off. Unless they are girls, of course, when it is to make them laugh their bras off so we can get a quick look.

You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy.

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

Most modern comedy is crap.

We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we’re wrong. Someone we trust.

I wish I was more Moomin-minded.

There are few things more powerful than a name. A single phrase that somehow becomes a symbol for an entire existence.

I must be overtired', Buttercup managed. 'The excitement and all.''Rest then', her mother cautioned. 'Terrible things can happen when you're overtired. I was overtired the night your father proposed.

So may the New Year be a happy one to you, happy to many more whose happiness depends on you!

Honest error may play prologue to wonders.

I want it to be able to hold up in 30 years' time. So, I'm really thinking about everything.

Every once in a while in an actor's life, a cast comes together.

The rich have become richer, and the poor have become poorer; and the vessel of the state is driven between the Scylla and Charybdis of anarchy and despotism.

The desire for love is universal but that has never meant it’s worthy of respect. It’s not admirable to want love, it just is.