Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

I'm waiting for the time when I fail - because we all fail - and I'm ready, I'll take up carpentry.

We had so much fun in Ghana and they are really lovely people.

We only have one agenda, which is to make 'em laugh their pants off. Unless they are girls, of course, when it is to make them laugh their bras off so we can get a quick look.

You're entering dangerous land when you start theorising about comedy.

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

I remember once having to stop performing when I thought an elderly man a few rows back from the front was actually going to die because he was laughing so hard.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

Most modern comedy is crap.

Honestly, I’m sorry you have no more power over me, but I’m not scared of you anymore. It’s just not worth my time.

Why do writers write? Why do actors act? Why do painters paint? It doesn't pay much, unless you're very successful. It's who we are.

Our mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we've ever met.

It's funny how getting older - or being overlooked and underrated for more than two decades - can make you change your ambitions.

The majority is never right, unless it includes me.

No nation keeps another in subjection without herself turning into a subject nation.

Probably the biggest challenge is actors, no matter how talented the actor is they don't have the capability of being in more than one place than one particular time, which is very vexing.

I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

If you want to be in the game you better shoot 75% from the line.

It is only through inner peace that we can have true outer freedom.