I'm very proud of myself on my, whatever the literacy is, I'm pretentious, totally pretentious. I like to say 'hmm', for example.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

Calling bullshit on something thats exactly what you want to hear is certainly among life's bigger challenges

Even the suicide desires his own good: he wrongly imagines that he would be better off dead. The moral problem is not that we love ourselves but that we love ourselves the wrong way.

What age is a black boy when he learns he's scary?

I'm forty-two, " he said. "That's eighty-four in musician years.

The idea of music is to liberate the listener and lead him to a frame where he feels he is elevated.

Allies never trust each other, but that doesn't spoil their effectiveness.

I was promised on a time To have reason for my rhyme; From that time unto this season, I received nor rhyme nor reason.

You can use an eraser on the drafting table or a sledge hammer on the construction site.

He who purposely cheats his friend would cheat his God.

A soul cannot live without loving. It must have something to love, for it was created to love.