I'm not really good at fun-to-know, human interest stuff. We're not 'celebrities', whose life itself is a performance. Good or bad or ugly, we are our words. They're what people meet.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I bleed passion. I’m not entirely sure what this means but I’m greedy over the words. They’re so full of life. And I really need some life to balance out the desperate allure of the dark.

The day that you stop learning is the day that you start decreasing your rewards and start suffering from frustration and lower levels of satisfaction.

The judgment of the intellect is, at best, only the half of truth.

Food decisions - do I eat this or not? - are always going to be there.

People are afraid to spend money now because they dont know how long theyre going to be working.

Donald Trump is sort of the first candidate of his type that non-politician, true outsider, was coming to shake up the system.

Our early dating life consisted of trying to figure out whether we were dating.

If you think that someone is out to steal everything you have, you're either paranoid or a member of the middle class.

I don't think I could write about someone I didn't feel some sympathy for.

I think I love jokes! The best jokes are equal to the best art, in my mind, and as rare.