I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding.

The key to the future in an aging society is not found in increasing just our life span we need to increase our health span at the same time.

I think the thing that music can do is be unsettling. It is abnormal - music that's perceived to be different in an unresolved or unusual way.

Japan is dealing us a dead hand. For two years we have watched the Japanese drag their feet and we can't let them continue to slam the door in our faces.

One thing I can say about the Dallas Cowboys: They have always had talent around them. They have been one of the most talented football teams in all of football.

Definite speech means clarity of mind.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

It's important for everybody to have somewhere to go. Men and women need purpose [in life].

I'm convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.

I deplore the horrible crime of child-murder...We want prevention, not merely punishment. We must reach the root of the evil, and destroy it.