I'm all about nightlife. I live during the night.

Lust tastes like tequila and love tastes like whiskey. Love burns for longer and warms you up on the inside and sometimes it makes you do stupid things. Tequila makes you wasted.

I have an American top hat that's collapsible and works as a frisbee.

It’s not exactly that I can’t stay in one place. It’s that if I’m in one place, I have to rearrange it every four to six months! I have to completely change my room!

I think you always take away a little bit of a character with you, and it kinda like hangs on you for a bit, and then as time kind of goes and wears off a little bit.

I love learning new things that will never be put to practical use.

[Jason Hale] is an upstanding guy. Yeah, I like him. He's good.

I used to want to be a vampire when I was young. It’d be great, you know? Run around at night, never die, kill people. It sounds like a great life!

I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots.

I think a girl looks good when she wakes up with nothing on her face.

I hated going to school, mainly because my sister would drive me and she would put her make-up on while she drove. That's dangerous. That should be illegal.

i am watersoft enoughto offer lifetough enoughto drown it away

I think cinema, movies, and magic have always been closely associated. The very earliest people who made film were magicians.

Tomorrow when you wake up, be aware of how you dress your thoughts and emotions, because at the end of the day no matter what you look like, if your inner being isn't beautiful, neither are you.

My personal definition of confidence is to keep believing that the stars in the solar system are actually watching and applauding you.

We want more people owning things in this country. Let me put it to you bluntly: In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life.

I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me, one Jew talking and that's it.

Friends, lovers, or nothing, we can really only ever be one.

In our community, we have those from the Middle East and those from Asia ... setting up shops and providing goods and services we should be providing for ourselves.

Hefeweizen. Never drink something you can't spill.

Give the enemy not only a road for flight, but also a means of defending it.