I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?

Analysing comedy is like dissecting a frog. Nobody laughs and the frog dies.

Why does it take two days for a polaroid of John Major to appear?

Quick: noise made by a dyslexic duck

They say that adultery is the main thing that can damage a marriage, but it's not. It's boredom.

The Sodomy sea shall cast out fish, and make a noise in the night, which many have not known: but they shall all hear the voice thereof.

They key of persistence opens all door closed by resistence

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

After a while, a surprising theme emerged. The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: Develop a strong family narrative.

One road was simple acceptance of life, the other road offered sweet peace. When I made my decision, my vision became my release.

Pleasure never comes sincere to man; but lent by heaven upon hard usury.

Set your affection to infinity and your hate to zero!

The most consistent versions of materialism deny the reality of anything beyond matter - no soul, no spirit, no will, no mind. This is called reductionism: Humans are reduced to biochemical machines.

I recognize the amount of time that it takes as a director. I made the choice to stop taking roles outside of L.A. because I didn't want to miss any of my child's life.

Most people keep their brains between their legs.