I like Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte. I also like the Scottish artist John Byrne, another surrealist.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

No matter how much bigger the pain is, it ends, yes it actually ends the moment when a pain of much bigger magnitude enters our lives.

Fireheart, why do you cry?""Because I am lost. And do not know the way

Republicans use think tanks to come up with a lot of their messages. The think tanks are the single worst, most undisciplined example of communication I've ever seen.

We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

If any vestige of the American automobile industry is to survive, it must involve state-of-the-art vehicles that are not equal to but surpass the best imports in every way.

The man at the center [Donald Trump], soon to be the world's most powerful, now shoulders the hopes and dreams of millions of Americans, the fear and anxiety of millions more.

A human being can never be broken

Teach your children or your grandchildren Chinese. It is going to be the most important language of their lifetimes.

How could it be little me had the power to be The best 'B' in the league yeah inevitably

Columbia is ... for people whose genitals still work, dammit. For writers who want to be brave and persevere in the real world where people often fail.