I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

There is always time for failure

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

We don't know much about the human conscience, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

Find the courage to live life.

You are mine. You are always going to be mine. It doesn't matter what came before, the only thing that matters is what is now and going forward. There will never be anyone else for you. Only me. Me.

I don't live in France; I live in myself.

We can become bitter or better as a result of our experiences.

I wanted to be a huge star and I have failed.

Nature's chief masterpiece is writing well.

The election is not very far off when a candidate can recognize you across the street.

I think you know that I classify science as British science, American science, and everybody else.

Jump in a hole without looking, and there'll be a snake in it every time.

I want to encourage public interest in space. I have never let my condition stop me. You only live once.