There is always time for failure

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yoghurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

Never believe a rumour until you hear it officially denied.

We don't know much about the human conscience, except that it is soluble in alcohol.

The secret of good health and happiness is to have rather small illnesses throughout your life which you can rely on to stop you doing anything you don't want to do.

Hell must be a place where you are only allowed to read what you agree with.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

A loving soul was always more beautiful over the long haul, but actual prettiness was fleeting.

What God has planned for us is far better than what we desire to behold.

One of the first steps to successful leadership is to always forget your age and remember your dream regularly.

When in doubt, know your way out, I always say.""I thought you always said, 'When in doubt, blame the dark elves.'""Well, yeah, that

There are some remedies worse than the disease.

There's no way out of here.

New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down, he gets polished.

I really wish we could stay longer in the countries we visit, but I've been lucky to have visited most of them before, because I've done a tremendous amount of travel.

We've got to get the system right. That's why we've got this root-and-branch reform under way.

Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.