I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital

Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.

Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids.

They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show.

Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.

When in doubt, blame the dark elves.

He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.

People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.

Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.

She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.

When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.

Learning is the first quality of acceptance and vice versa

All religions must be made child-proof. Our teachers' unions have done good work in this field, K through 12. Delaying first communions and bar mitzvahs until age 21 would be another positive step.

I'm certainly dismayed by what I'm seeing now. There's a lot of ugliness of a kind I've never seen in my lifetime, or heard in my lifetime. But, look, I'm a romantic. I'm hopeful.

Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with.

If we were truly created by God, why do we occasionally bite the insides of our mouths?

Who are you?' I didn't understand the question. I'm Uri', he said. 'What's your name?' I gave him my name. 'Stopthief.

We are tempted to live under the illusion that somewhere out there are people who are normal.

Through return to simple living comes control of desires. In control of desires stillness is attained. In stillness the world is restored.

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition.

Lose the chrome-plated sissy pistol and get yourself a Glock.