I hate being mean. I watch those roasts on Comedy Central and they make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.

There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood.

I think the obsession with wanting to change yourself is crazy over the top.

Be relentless and then you'll break through.

This whole generation of parents - I'm guilty of it too - does too much for their kids.

Going to Catholic school was what fueled me into comedy. The nuns were so brutal so I used to try to make my friends laugh.

I don't just want to be successful I want to have fun.

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.

I've known lots of people that are talented and nothing happens. It's not about talent, it's relentless drive.

I think comedians have a function in society, which is to make fun of our icons.

Take every chance you get in life ... because some things only happen once!

Hollywood panders to the 18-to-34 crowd. That demographic doesn't care about race and the package it comes in. They care about the hottest chick. They just like hot chicks.

Write what you know will always be excellent advice for those who ought not to write at all. Write what you think, what you imagine, what you suspect!

You live your life at the time you live it -- you don't have much of an overview when what's happening to you is still happening.

My signature is the one that Hyun Joong hyung made for me five years ago, but I’m still using it.

Can't say no one makes money from Twitter now. The NBA does.

You have to be true to yourself and remain humble. Whether you win or lose, you've got to treat everyone the same, and be who you are.

Science fiction really is the only genre that lets you use your imagination without limitations.

The law, unfortunately, has always been retained on the side of power; laws have uniformly been enacted for the protection and perpetuation of power.

In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.