I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

He was one of those young men who possess an impressive store of facts, but no truths.

If a man realizes who he is, he cannot lose his peace and gladness because he lives at peace with himself

...but sometimes mindless entertainment was a release of its own. Most important, mindless entertainment didn’t come with complications.

You must not demand the failure of your peers, because the more good things that are around in film, in television, in theater - why the better it is for all of us.

Don’t consent to be hurt and you won’t be hurt – this is a choice over which you have control

To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either.

As long as we are graceful, appreciative lodgers, the earth remains healthy and wondrous.

The Constitution was made for ordinary people.

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.