I cannot see that art is anything less than a way of making joys perpetual.

God forbid that any book should be banned. The practice is as indefensible as infanticide.

I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat.

Motherhood is the strangest thing, it can be like being one's own Trojan horse.

The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots.

There is no logical reason why the camel of great art should pass through the needle of mob intelligence.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.

All men should have a drop of treason in their veins, if nations are not to go soft like so many sleepy pears.

The trouble about man is twofold. He cannot learn truths which are too complicated; he forgets truths which are too simple.

The mind is its own enemy, that fights itself with the innumerable pliant and ineluctable arms of the octopus.

Writing has nothing to do with communication between person and person, only with communication between different parts of a person's mind.

I cannot stress this enough: do not take powerful hallucinogens before going to a Holocaust memorial.

Wish for the happiness of your enemies, for if they are happy, they are your enemy no more.

Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?

The person must give himself an external sphere of freedom in order to have being as Idea.

I didn't go to film school so my learning was done out in public and showed up on the screen.

I'm regularly asked, 'What's a good voice?' I often answer, 'One that I don't notice'. I would also add, one which makes me notice things about a spoken text

I probably have become more infamous from two misdemeanors than probably anyone I could think of.

There are few things in life that bring as much joy as the joy that comes from assisting another improve his or her life.

There is no credit to being a comedian, when you have the whole Government working for you. All you have to do is report the facts. I dont even have to exaggerate.

I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.