I believe in facing reality. But only because I don't like turning my back on it.

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it.

Money talks — but credit has an echo.

My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.

People used to live lives of quiet desperation - now they go on talk shows!

I like to get to work early. Before my brain knows what I'm up to.

The Senate being tied is a start. Now, if only it could be gagged.

It's not that Good doesn't triumph over Evil, it's that the point spread is too small.

A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Because in truth, my love, if you have thought of me once then I have thought of you a thousand times. You have captured my heart. It is yours. I am at your mercy now

To take Christ into our well-ordered, well-kept lives is in many ways to ask for trouble, for he will not leave well enough alone.

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.

Winners live in the present tense. People who come up short are consumed with future or past. I want to be living in the now.

If you endeavor to embrace the Way through much learning, the Way will not be understood. If you observe the Way with simplicity of heart, great indeed is this Way.

The world asks, How much does he give? Christ asks why does he give?

Creativity is the encounter of the intensively conscious human being with his world.

Hope I lived up to my reputation for being slick.

The tyrant custom, most grave senators, Hath made the flinty and steel couch of war My thrice-driven bed of down.