Hey, Warren, the Raiders signed you to a seven-year deal. I guess Bill Callahan was right - they are the dumbest team in America.

Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars.

My wife's nagging is like living near the airport. After a while you don't notice it any more.

People still question my sobriety, my commitment to the program, and that hurts. I take things day by day, and sometimes I take them minute by minute, but I honor my commitment to stay sober.

Women; can't live with em, can't kill em

Any time your head explodes, that's not a good situation.

The difference between one man and another is not mere ability... it is energy.

The nature of show business is people within the business feel that if someone else fails, they move up a notch.

I didn't quit football because I failed a drug test, I failed a test because I was ready to quite football.

Kids; 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery

It's pretty lonely and sad to be single. Every night was the same for me, I'd go home and curl up in bed with my favorite book. Well, actually it was a magazine.

Talking doesn't get your point across but listening does.

Reason is the triumph of the intellect faith of the heart.

They say that age kills the fire inside of a man, that he hears Death coming, he opens the door and says, "Come in, give me rest!" That is a pack of goddam lies.

There is some really good crack when I come back here. This is where I learned to swear.

You are what you are. Deal with it or change.

Most women get pregnant and even though it's a challenge physically and uncomfortable, they generally wanted to be pregnant.

Humor is important. If you're going to tell any sort of realistic story, you're going to have to have humor in it, because people are funny. Clever people especially.

My dad told us up front, 'Guys, if you want to play sports, go ahead, but it's your decision.

Very unfairly, there's a negative image of the kid, which really stems from the greed and selfishness of the NBA and NCAA. They're forcing these kids to go to school.

Though weary, it is not tired: though pressed it is not straightened; though alarmed, it is not confounded; but as a living flame it forces itself upwards and securely passes through all.