Here's a good rule of thumb Too clever is dumb.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Stop comparing yourself to others and focus on your own improvement.

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.

For writing is a solitary occupation, and one of its hazards is loneliness. But an advantage of loneliness is privacy, autonomy, freedom.

Age-appropriate makeup? Who are you people? What makeup is age-appropriate for a seven-year-old?

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The thinnest tendrils of dawn are creeping in from the east. People in New York are softly starting to tweet.

Galileo got it wrong. The earth does not revolve around the sun. It revolves around you and has been doing so for decades. At least, this is the model you are using.

Motherhood didn't make you stronger; it made you vulnerable and afraid of what death could steal from you.

Although I always said that I wanted to be a writer from childhood, I hadn't actually done much about it until I came to London.

Sometimes we become bound by other people's thoughts because we are not sure about ourselves.