He only drinks when he gets depressed, ' said Carrot. 'Why does he get depressed?' 'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Drift beautifully on the surface, and you will die unbeautifully in the depths.

Be sincere to nobody else, but yourself.

Our loving Lord is not just present, but nearer than the thought can imagine - so near that a whisper can reach Him.

I see myself as an educator.

In my view, the only recourse for a scientist concerned about the social consequences of his work is to remain involved with it to the end.

If you've got a blacklist, I want to be on it.

Psychology must postulate uniformity of interrelation of physical, physiological, and psychic processes.

Your rights matter, because you never know when you're going to need them.

Justice, truth, and beauty are sisters and comrades. With three such beautiful words we have no need to look for any others.