Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Persistence, perseverance, and continuous improvement are the ingredients for forming a successful person.

We put our flags in soil when we arrive, as if it now belongs to us and we know where we are.

Man is a creature who lives not upon bread alone, but primarily by catchwords.

The moment you say yes to acting on your desire is the real beginning.

Using these new funds, I will ask my secretary of defense to propose a new defense budget to meet the following longtime goals.

A guilty man is punished as an example for the mob; an innocent man convicted is the business of every honest citizen.

It's kind of interesting to be a director who is all of a sudden being an actor playing an agent. This is my whole world!

My eyes are wide open to the conflicts within the Church, but I don't think you can call it schism.

Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs, bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done.

Fancy being remembered around the world for the invention of a mouse!