Golf took young kids like Byron Nelson, Ben Hogan and myself out of the caddie ranks and gave us money and a little bit of fame and let us live in the tall cotton.

You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them.

Mr. Agnew, I believe you have a slight swing in your flaw.

Golf is based on honesty, where else would you admit to a seven on a par three?

Some players would complain if they had to play on Dolly Parton's bedspread.

Bob Hope has a beautiful short game. Unfortunately, it's off the tee.

He's hit it fat.... It will probably be short.... It just hit the front edge of the green.... It's got no chance.... It's rolling toward the cup.... Well I'll be damned!

The players themselves can be classified into two groups- the attractions and the entry fees.

If he takes the option of dropping behind the point where the ball rests, keeping in line with the pin, his nearest drop is Honolulu.

One of these days I'm going to write a book on drops. That ought to sell. The shot's become more popular than putting.

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

How quick and rushing life can sometimes seem, when at the same time it's so slow and sweet and everlasting.

Yes, Yes Yall, You know we talkin it all see how we bringing the street corner to Cargenie hall

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

An observant child should be put in the way of things worth observing.

Two there shall be; no more, no less. One to embody the dark side, the other to crave it.

Luckier than one's neighbor, but still not happy.

Art is born in attention.

Actually, even our virility depends on the gaze and the control of women. Without women, we cannot do anything. I think it's a good thing.

I know my faults, but I'm comfortable with me.

Love is merely a madness.