Gods play games with the fates of men. But first they have to get all the pieces on the board and look all over the place for the dice.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

It is your ego that needs to explain itself. The self just is.

Words are to be taken seriously. I try to take seriously acts of language. Words set things in motion.

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.

I've had the best of the years, and I don't want a single year back.

It's one of the most important things in life to provide someone with a job.

I never thought I would just be doing Arkady books.

The United States, which would live on Christian principles with all of the peoples of the world, cannot omit a fair deal for its own Indian citizens.

Who is it that said that 'you have not converted a man because you have silenced him?' This is true of the use of the military on people.

I have no fear of death whatsoever. I suspect that few people do, what they all fear is what might happen in the years or months before death.