God makes trees, he doesn't write books.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

if you are always drinking, you should probably never drive

Methinks I lied all winter, when I sworeMy love was infinite, if spring makes it more.

An obstinate man does not hold opinions but they hold him.

I don't know a single person who truly seems to bear the mark of God's presence and power in his or her life who hasn't been asked by God to be obedient in a way that was dramatically painful.

If I thought that I was doing it myself, the hole would close up and no power could come through. Then everything I could do would be foolish.

We do not support an automatic pathway to citizenship.

A newspaper reported I spend $30,000 a year buying Paris clothes and that women hate me for it. I couldn't spend that much unless I wore sable underwear.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

The whole city stopped - And this is a pause worth savouring, because the world will soon be complicated again.

When you're hiding behind a character all the time, as soon as you have to be yourself, you feel kind of terrified.