Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? Myspace: Where did everybody go?

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Our whole life passes asking only one question to ourselves, “I did the same or more hard work than the one standing on top of my field. Why wasn’t I chosen for it?

The more articulate one is, the more dangerous words become.

My career never suffered from my not being skinny. I never did catwalk work because I was always too big. I couldn't get the clothes over my hips.

I always think its easier for me to write without thinking about the strict meter that's required for songs and song structures and things like that. It's much easier to just write on the page.

Crazy. Karma is a b****. Gets you every time. Its not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!

The more people know, the more people share. The more people improve the quality of their lives, the more they'll talk to other people about it, and then they'll help each other.

You don’t have to say that nature is aware of your existence, that God knows you are here. The camera gives you proof that you have lived at least once.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

I've been looking over the list of spring chores I made up last fall, and darned if they aren't fall chores, after all.

Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States cannot make it without Texas