Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

What was it about not knowing a person that allowed you to wonder whether she might be the answer to all your problems?

The Croatians don't play well without the ball.

The best gift you can give, besides your unconditional love, is to be strong for them when they are present and stronger for yourself when they are not!

Early rising is no pleasure; early drinking's just the measure.

In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.

I like the idea that my work isn't intended only for the Earth, but for the entire Universe.

I said if I made 10 films in my life, I would be very lucky. That's how I meant it. My fear after my first one was whether they would let me make another one, so I had this goal in my head.

When schools flourish, all flourishes.

Some men are great enough that they can love a whole woman, and not just part of her.

I have learned that I am enough... I have learned that no one else can LOVE ME - FOR ME.