Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

An action taken with positive thoughts will never produce negative results.

Maybe I want a black eye. Did you think of that?

Suffering is too strong a word, but writing is serious work. I pull the stuff up from me - it's not as if it's a pleasure.

A photograph is a souvenir of life!

Nobody can guard Kobe one-on-one. Nobody.

Tell the truth, because sooner or later the public will find out anyway. And if the public doesn't like what you are doing, change your policies and bring them into line with what people want.

It's really important to have those people in your life who push you to be better, different.

Because I am still a little girl who believes in Santa and the tooth fairy and you.

You want what you create to live, and I give my all in my work because I want it to live.

I woke up this morning and I said to my self, 'Self, I think we need to party today'.