'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

A lonely impulse of delight

The greatest truths are the simplest and so are the greatest men.

I, as the writer, can be very clear that I am writing a work of heightened fiction, as opposed to documenting horrible things that happen every day in the world. Which I have no interest in doing.

influence which is given on the side of money is usually against truth.

A common denominator among big guys like me who are trying to take care of our health is that we're not getting enough sleep.

The music stuff has been very difficult. It's got to be right, and even then, it better be on key.

Time is life. Anyone who wastes my time is killing me. Please don't!

There is nothing that anyone can say to prepare you for childbirth. Each woman's experience is so different; you never know how it will be for you!

If there's anything worse than being 16, it's having parents visibly reliving their own teenage years in your anguished presence.

Who'd want a pony when you could have the whole universe? It was far more interesting and you didn't have to muck it out once a week.